From grumpy to humility

Earlier today I was reading Robin’s blog  where she mentioned being grumpy and I wondered when it would hit me.  Well I didn’t have to wait long!  I could hardly bring myself to say a word at work tonight, and now I’m afraid if anyone disturbs me I might just bit their head off.  That’s definitely not the character God is trying to build in me.  But I’ve asked Him to teach me humility, and seeing my grumpy sinful heart keeps me desperate for Him.  Earlier today I was able to spend several hours studying Song of Solomon, and it relates to this.  That’s one amazing book!

It Begins Tonight!

Tonight is the beginning of the 40 day fast, and the 40 day count down to 100 thousand people joining to pray in Nashville.  I am so excited about what God is doing in my life and in the nation!  I have great expectancy for Him to move, to rain Holy Spirit down upon our churches and to breath His breath of life on our hearts.

Daily Goals Before God

Tonight was the prayer cast where many Christian leaders gathered to launch the 40 day fast leading up to the Call Nashville.  It was amazing to watch online and join our small group in Tennessee with people praying around the country.  The fast begins in 2 days, and I have been trying to prepare myself.  Everyone has said to set clear goals for the fast.  About a month ago, when I first got sucked into reading blogs, Shawn Blanc had a project for setting daily goals for maturity in God.  It’s been in the back of my mind since then, trying to figure out what my goals would be.  Finally I sat down and wrote out some thoughts.  I don’t know how these will live out, but they are my goals for the next 40 days, and hopefully many more after that.

Fears of Fasting?

I was reading Shawn Blanc’s blog today, and he asked what everyone’s fears are of fasting.  My first thought was that I don’t really have any.  With the 40 day fast Lou Engle  has called rapidly approaching, I realized it’s important to consider what I truly believe about fasting.  In my head I know it’s a good thing, and I have experienced the beauties of it when I fast on occasion.  But if I’m not afraid of fasting, then why don’t I do it?

I think for me it must be the fear of failure.  In fact, I think the fear of failure is a huge stronghold in my life.  I chose not to participate in so many things with the fear that I will mess up or not follow through to the end.  This has hit me hard in my walk with God.  I have trouble committing to a Bible study plan because I’m afraid of abandoning the plan.  I don’t schedule out times to pray with the same fear eating at my subconscious.  But the biggest place that fear has come in is with fasting.

So now that I recognize this fear, what should I do?  I guess I should start by renewing my mind to see things the way God does.  If I do fail on a fast, break it early on, and don’t pick it back up, it was still important to God.  He saw my heart and my desire to fast although I didn’t follow through.  It was not a failure in His eyes, but another step towards loving Him unreservedly.  He rejoices in the weak movement of my heart towards Him.  Maybe with this in mind I can overcome my fear of fasting.